Paula Ann Farris Auclair

My mother, Paula Ann Farris Auclair died suddenly from a broken heart at CHRISTUS Ochsner St. Patrick Hospital on June 2, 2020. She was born on May 2, 1943 in New Orleans, Louisiana. The first of five children that her parents Rubye Lee (Hooper) Farris and John Farris would have, she began life facing poverty and discrimination in the Deep South. You see, her father was Lebanese, a first generation American born to immigrants from Syria. Though he was not of African descent, he was very dark skinned. Throughout his and his children's life in the South, this feature subjected them to discrimination that was tempered, but in some ways similar, to the experiences of people of color in the region.

Like her sister and three brothers who would follow, my mom was an extremely intelligent person. She was awarded full scholarships at the Immaculate Conception School and St Charles Academy. She excelled there despite the challenges that her family's poverty generated. I remember her telling me of a trip to school on the city bus, and the bus driver yelling, as she and her sister departed, “Remind your mama she owes me that fifteen cents!” Knowing that her mama didn't have fifteen cents for the bus or anything else, she and her sister Cathy just kept walking. Paula graduated at the top of her class and won a scholarship to McNeese State University, and she studied there until she became pregnant at age nineteen. Her parents, in order to avoid the shame of her pregnancy, sent her to live with extended family in California.

While leaving family, school and friends behind in Louisiana was an incredible loss to her, moving to California freed her from some of the oppression of the South. She met her beloved friend, Rolene AuClaire, while working at an insurance company after Paula's daughter, Lynda (Whittaker) Gregory, was born. They immediately recognized each other's wit, tenacity and kind-heartedness and became fast friends. Rolene soon introduced Paula to her brother, Roderick Henry Auclair, who was in the Air Force at the time. Brief encounters and volumes of love letters passed between the two, and they were married on July 23, 1966. Following their marriage, they briefly moved to New York where their son Douglas Michael was born, to Connecticut for the birth of their daughter (that's me) Beki, settling finally in Moodus, Connecticut where the family lived for many years.

As a young mother, Paula exhibited an industriousness and work ethic that would characterize her entire life. She did piece work for a stained-glass company when her children were small, then applied her sharp mind and insightful writing skills to a job as a correspondent for The Hartford Courant. After her children were more independent in adolescence, she began working outside the home at Wesleyan University, first as secretary in the College of Letters, then as administrative assistant in the Human Resources Department. Soon after she began her work at Wesleyan, she took advantage of the university's generous continuing education benefit and completed her bachelor's degree in 1986, eventually graduating from Wesleyan with a Master of Arts in Liberal Studies in 1990.

Though happy in her work and life in Middletown, Paula never grew accustomed to the cold New England winters and longed to return to the roots from which she was ripped. Following her father's death in 2003, she began spending more time in Lake Charles to settle his affairs, and she reconnected with old friends and extended family in the region. A lifetime of frugality and prudent financial decisions allowed her to retire from Wesleyan at age 62, and soon after she moved back to Lake Charles where she lived on Bilbo Street through Hurricane Rita, moving at age 72 to the independent senior community at The Verandah at Graywood.

While her family and friends were surprised at first by this move-- she was well, independent, and comfortable on Bilbo Street-- Paula's sharp mind remained at work. She was grateful to shed the responsibilities of shopping, cooking and housekeeping and to enjoy her time connecting with old friends and new, playing sudoku, bourre, and perhaps most importantly, steadily advocating for the residents at the Verandah. She wanted her life to be meaningful— to make an impact on the people she loved, to alleviate unfairness and imbalances in power. As a young adult, she protested the Vietnam war as a Mother for Peace. In her thirties and forties, she lobbied for the rights of adoptees, birthparents and adoptive parents as an outspoken member of Concerned United Birthparents. She would not allow racist or sexist comments to pass casually around her. She applied her organizational and writing skills as a volunteer at Catholic Charities. At Verandah, she took her concerns and those of the other residents to heart and frequently, insistently and respectfully contacted the management. She asked for less salt and spice in the food, healthy snack options, interesting movies and engaging activities. She often volunteered to lead the morning chair exercise class and was supportive, skillful and kind as she did. She loved her friends at Verandah, mourned the many who passed while she was there, and welcomed newcomers with her beautiful smile when they arrived.

Paula is survived by many who knew and loved her. In Austin, her brother Jeff Farris and sister in law Gretchen, her nephews and niece, Adam, Joel and Leila, and their beautiful tribe of children all mourn her passing. In California, her daughter Lynda and son in law Todd Gregory, her lifelong friend Rolene and daughters, Ocean and Cybele, are shocked by her death. In Connecticut, her former husband, Rod Auclair, his brothers, sisters and their partners, their many children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren miss her dearly. In Virginia, her son Douglas, daughter in law Diane, and grandchildren Elena and Isabel grieve deeply for her and rejoice in the comfort that she is with her God. In Vermont, her son in law Howland, grandchildren Peter and Sofya, and I are devastated by her passing. In Lake Charles, her friends and the staff at Verandah, her extended Hooper and Farris families, and her childhood friends and classmates are deeply saddened. We all thought we had more time. We all thought that someone as tenacious and vital, loving and kind as my mom would be with us longer than her too short seventy-seven years.

A funeral mass will be held at St. Martin de Porres Catholic Church at 2:00 PM Wednesday, June 17, 2020 with a rosary beginning at 1:30 PM. A commemoration service will take place at Johnson Funeral Home at 4:00 PM on Tuesday, June 16, 2020 with a gathering of friends from 2:00 PM until 4:00 PM.  Paula's family and friends thank everyone who touched her life for their kindness, especially the professionals at St Patrick’s. If you would like to honor her, instead of flowers, please consider contributing to Catholic Charities or your local National Public Radio station in her memory.

Social distancing is encouraged in the funeral home and visitors are urged to avoid physical contact (hugging and handshakes).  In respect of attendants we cordially request friends to wear facemask to the visitation and funeral mass.